Stories
{Saturday, September 30, 2006 @ 9/30/2006}
okay so i thought the next time i'd be blogging was spose to be after the 19th, but seriously i can't help it and im not doing anything at the moment. so its another hour left. exactly just another hour and i hope it goes real well tmoro. and syu please don't cry. smile as a birthday present for me okai :P no seriously, there's always a next year. and ill be 16 then. wiggle eyebrows. haha okay syu. don't cry you know i'd understand. hugs.
til then. cheers to ya'll.
{ @ 9/30/2006}
Im sorry, i wasnt brave enough to tell you.....i just dont dare to hear you cry.....as much as i did when i heard of the news......i tried to reason and reason them....but all i got was "just go there after sending her"......its not that i dont want to send my sister......i do, and yes~ i admit its sad she's goin itself made me cry but to think that i wouldnt be crying not only my heart would break....the worst was to break someones heart......i cried non-stop and i was in the worst of mood for the whole freaking day.....i wonder what else ould make it worst....then i saw your 'personal message' i started crying and panicked....my other sis insisntd on her calling you and break the news.......i was crying in the background listening to your conversation.....i couldnt stand it......and im so so so sorry....i cant do anything.....unless some miracle happens......because my parents allowed me thats one thing for sure.....but it just had to clash.....how unfair could my life be? but one thing for sure, please dont be sad.....honestly, i know you would have a great time.....one thing for sure, i know it'll be better then mine.....thats one thing for sure.....and you see how people were so eager for it.....people werent for mine.....people even greeted three weeks before....people even made countdowns......people even asked about it......you see how ur loved, by everyone? you know how i was sad before my so called big day.....i was even sad on the day and the days after......so yeah~ you should be happy......cz i noe u'll hav a better one than me.....everyone did...... 
and im really really sorry i couldnt come that early.....unless its 8pm.....but no matter what happens.....you know it'll be perfect no matter what....its you for goodness sakes..... =B HAPPY BUTT'DAY NADJ.......You'll have a great one....I know.....
{Thursday, September 28, 2006 @ 9/28/2006}
sometimes i wish, that i was an angel,
a fallen angel, who visits your dreams,
and in those dreams, i'd blow you a message,
that says 'you really want me'.
sometimes i wish that i was a wrestler,
a mexican wrestler, in a red vinyl mask,
and i might grab you and body slam you,
and maybe cause, physical harm,
but when we would land, i might take pity on you,
i could crack all your ribs, but i cant break your heart.
You will never love me,
and this i cant forgive,
that you will never love me,
as long as i will live.
sometimes i wish that i was a beauty,
a beautiful girl, the popular one,
and i'd turn your head and your friends would love me,
and i could afford to play hard to get,
we'd go to parties and you'd show me off,
then i'd go out with your best friend.
you will never love me,
and this i cant forgive,
and it will always bug me,
as long as i will live,
you will never love me,
why should i even care,
it's not that your so special,
you're just the cross i bear,
you will never love me,
you will never love me,
and this i cant forgive,
and it will always bug me,
as long as i will live.
Lyrics from Emma Roberts(addie singer from unfabulous)-Mexican Wrestler......altho some parts of the lyrics is humourous, but still deep....especially if youve seen the episode for this one....damn~ i cried uncontrolablely! and now i still feel her pain......even if that was about early of last year already......And for some reason i keep getting people shooting me with the questions about love....honestly, ppl i dont know.....maybe the cause of no getting love in return had made me numb of making my mind if im actually in love or just infatuated....thats why i honestly answer you guys.....i simply dont know.....so yeah~ probrabbly till the time i get love in return, then maybe i could understand a little bit something about my feelings towards so called 'love'....
okay, enough about love! exam is coming up in about a week and few days, but still some lil evils keep popping up in my little heart to not study! sshheesshh~ eventho im really freaking scared for whats coming ahead....
And oh....guess what? i was totally emberassed in class just now....*sigh* long story, better heard then seen from computers.....ahahaha! then while waiting for my car just chatting about with the guys infront, there was a car infront of us.....with a guy tapping on the window.....i looked at the car and finally to found my long lost friend making an ugly face to me! ahhahaha! that was funneh dude....and now for some reason we just cant stop messaging each other about "pizza" and "duit raya"? hahahhaha! wierd~ ( i bet if your reading, you'll know! hahahhaha! crazeh dude~ muahahaha!)
well~ i have loads more things to share....but thier not that interesting unless u guys were there.....heheheh! =D so yeaahh~ that all folks~
Happy advance bday NADJ.....finally ur 15....heheh! =p
{Wednesday, September 27, 2006 @ 9/27/2006}
how come things between you and me never got any better? its been some time and im still in my old world. of all the things ive been through, nothing you did touched my heart. instead you make me feel like im your doormat. i dont know what to do to make you understand. still it's hard for me to ignore you.why can't you just go and stay? why her? what's your reason you still treat her like she's someone you need to give your attention to? no, she, is, tired. of all these. to forget, to not. she's so.. confused.
{Tuesday, September 26, 2006 @ 9/26/2006}
..I'm the girl sitting next to you.
I'm the one asking you to care.
I'm your best friend hoping you'll be there..days been so dull. went to watch HEARTS today with fiz, mah and ziq. sm told me its boring it makes you cry, sm said its fantastic and sm said its really boring, its a waste of your time. decided to watch it for myself then, plus others wanted to too. okay seriously, i think its really boring. no offence to those who think its fab. but really. we didnt finish the movie :D so whoever paid for my tick, thanks. haha. im shur ya'll been moaning abt school like me too right.friends been nagging, but yeah, schools back :/ its a good thing tmoros tues tho, we missd a monday. haha sigh. 5 more hours to sahur, i better get to bed. 4 more days to 15. and 10 more days to our examination!
{Monday, September 25, 2006 @ 9/25/2006}
SELAMAT BERPUASA AND GET FAT SOON PEOPLE~ =D
hey....i watched it too that nigth~ hehehe! wow~ i wish we could have a life as interesting as that! hehe! tpi kan jalan pun payah-payah....*sigh* but if we were them(whoever in it....heh~)i would so like to be the greek one.....LENA.... =D cz have you seen her eyes....like wohh~ its like so bluee....lawa aahh....mcm c Jayla.....rambutnya lagi perfectly curled tu....like damnn~ i wish i was her...*getting dramaticly jelous* hehe! and wow...how i would love to live in greece...clear blue sky and sea, hot guys, complicated but cozy place to live....i donno why but i just really loved to be her in that movie....heh~ but at the same time i like Tibby's hair....like hello~ its blue! =D and also Bridgett's legs and Carmen's confidence.....heh! =D well~ enough of my imaginations.....hehehe!
{Friday, September 22, 2006 @ 9/22/2006}
umi, i wants you to gets well soon okai :( i want puasa on sunday and i met auni today. khee. hi ni :D now ill just leave these photos telling what i did today. 
the unfinishable cookie and my oh-too-bad-its-not-so-cold mango juice (:
jis. thanks for stealing my pants, zy. ahaha
the sisters.
i dont know, okay.
that girl who blocks people face and izzati :D
lobby :D
{ @ 9/22/2006}
Understand the lyrics to this song....and give me what i need...
To everyone, i apologize.....i didnt mean to come on that strong yesterday.....i was jus ticked off! It wasnt really all you guys fault(whoever tought it was)it just that my feeling about evryone and everything was just bottled up for too long....my heart just couldnt hold that much tought and feeling ya knoe(my heart is only as big as my fist!)....I was more likely pissed off at everyone and evrything.....I just felt like i was shook too much....You know the saying "dont shake the bottle too much or it'll just burst"? well~ i felt like i was shook too much....by everyone no matter if it was my family, my friends, my teachers, people in the TV, my self even, whoever, seemed to me everyone did in these couple of months! I didnt actually wanna show any side of dissapoinment anytime of yesterday nor soon(cause if you really noe me....you know i'll just let ALLAH do whats best), but for some reason this friend of mine read me so well that i was(nobody else did).....he confronted the people who crossed the last line of mine(i dono if u noe im talking about you, but thank you....cause you read me better than anyone else....im sori i just couldnt be there when you needed someone just like you...and that actually wanst the 1st time you read me...)well yeah~ he read me that day in just a matter of seconds.....n everything came out...and for some reason for me to be and do what i usually do when im read was to just deny it....but for some reason i couldnt yesterday.....my heart was just shook too much for these past few months and it burst.....but luckily it didnt burst that much or you guys would've seen something you wouldnt like....okay~ goin back to why i didnt stop myself.....i even tought of the same question....well~ i tot maybe it was because.....i never actually had a moment like this....cz my friends and family usually show that their breaking down(on the other hand i usally suck it all in, cz there was always no one there).....and im always the one who has to be the helping hand....but i dont get that in return(maybe cause, then i didnt have someone who read me well!).....or maybe i also tot that i wanted to see how far could i get to be *emo* as they call it! or maybe even since i dont usually get attention anywhere, i just really liked the attention or maybe also becausei felt like i just couldnt stand it.....honestly, i dont know.....mayb it was all the reason together! And i would really wanna tell you guys what were all the things that made me fcuked up all these months.....but thats just be too long to write(i could make a 100000000000 word esaay for it).....cz i did think over of all the things that happened....but i was in the shower crying alone(well~ i couldnt really tell apart my tears and the shower water!) so yeaahh.....i dont have enough tissues nor any shoulders actually to cry on! so yeaahh~ i wanna say im truly sorry....altho some of you just didnt get the hint that it involved them too.....for some bloody reason...and i would like to thank you to the guy who read me.....thank you so much cz this wasnt the 1st time you read me....and i really appriciate it.....I really wanna express all my feelings all the reason in fucked up in this blog....but that'll just bring tears(and i dont have a big box of tissue wif me now) not only to myself but maybe even the ones reading....and i would want anyone to get offened cz in my opinion everyone is involved....so yeaahh....if you really wanna noe all the troubles....You'll care~atleast some of you....i hope....
{Thursday, September 21, 2006 @ 9/21/2006}
this picture reminds me of old times. been missing those times lately, but right now we have to study real hard. school was total bshit i'd say. we did nothing for the first 3 periods. tmoros a holiday, WEE :D and and that's it.p.s. 298, im
sorry.
{Wednesday, September 20, 2006 @ 9/20/2006}
Go back in time with me.....
Shanks and bigfoot- Sweet like chocolate.
Vertical horizon- Everything you want.
Garbage- Stupid girl.
East 17 feat Gabriel- If you ever.
Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins - It's like that.
White town- Your woman.
Blur- Song 2.
Courtney love- Mono.
Take a step back in time and remember some of the greatest hits.
{Tuesday, September 19, 2006 @ 9/19/2006}
Last bunch of pictures that you just got to see.
Seeing red.
The 12 of August afterparty.
Did some important business....rite? hehe! =D
Sweet like chocolate!
Say it with me.....So hawwtt~
Inner child released.
It was just that retarted moment!
Who said dreesing up like this isint cool? hhmm?
Javen took this one.
The lovely model(in pink) with her fan. =D
Hope you guys liked the pictures....thats the last bunch that u just had to share....not all were taken by me but their great......so you just gotta love them.... =D
--I wanna thank evryone infront of the camera and also people behind the cameras. Love ya'll....... =*
{ @ 9/19/2006}
abg kash im sorry i didnt send you to the airport. umi please get well :) and yes thats it. hahaha oh welcome back syu!azy. whatever stays in the boat, stays in the boat. okay bye :D[n39]
{ @ 9/19/2006}
I told you i got loads of pictures.
Tattoo......(oow~ its that Micheal dude back there! hehe!)
Our ligthsabers. Muahahahaha!
Sakai-ed around.
Love that view.
No need to comment.
Dennis and his tounge thingy! heh~
Im telling you....he can read minds.
How ironic!
My beloved friend.....AMANDA! =D hehehe!
This is why we LOVE school.{ @ 9/19/2006}
-More pictures-
---> The new Jolibee mascot.
--->Modelling.....
----> The ghost of Calvin.
---->Wish you were here.
---->Flying without wings.
---->Pose babes~
--->Models having a break!
-----> The lil sisters....
----> SUPERMAN!
----> Strike a pose. =D
{ @ 9/19/2006}
School is FUN~ =D
------>Ajai doesnt even need to pose. Work it~
-------->Recess....
---------->Lina on the catwalk! waseh~ hehe!
---------> A, B...........now i know my A B C, wont you please sing with me!
----------->Our school model......so hawtt~
--------> He still wont admit, he is VAIN!
-------> The latest hot model look....the 'bangang look'....hehehe!
Finally~im blogging again....it been how many months? 2? 3? 4? was it? well~ one thing for sure i just have to share with you guys the pictures i took in these past few months....ENJOY~ =D
the unfinishable cookie and my oh-too-bad-its-not-so-cold mango juice (:
jis. thanks for stealing my pants, zy. ahaha
the sisters. 
i dont know, okay. 
lobby :D 
Seeing red.
The 12 of August afterparty.
Did some important business....rite? hehe! =D
Sweet like chocolate!
Say it with me.....So hawwtt~
Inner child released.
It was just that retarted moment!
Who said dreesing up like this isint cool? hhmm?
Javen took this one.
The lovely model(in pink) with her fan. =D
Tattoo......(oow~ its that Micheal dude back there! hehe!)
Our ligthsabers. Muahahahaha!
Sakai-ed around.
Love that view.
No need to comment.
Dennis and his tounge thingy! heh~
Im telling you....he can read minds.
How ironic!
My beloved friend.....AMANDA! =D hehehe!
This is why we LOVE school.
---> The new Jolibee mascot.
--->Modelling.....
----> The ghost of Calvin.
---->Wish you were here.
---->Flying without wings.
---->Pose babes~
--->Models having a break!
-----> The lil sisters....
----> SUPERMAN!
----> Strike a pose. =D
------>Ajai doesnt even need to pose. Work it~
-------->Recess....
---------->Lina on the catwalk! waseh~ hehe!
---------> A, B...........now i know my A B C, wont you please sing with me!
----------->Our school model......so hawtt~
--------> He still wont admit, he is VAIN!
-------> The latest hot model look....the 'bangang look'....hehehe!